Cave Misfortune

An Iron Age Media Prompt - “The Fiend“

Maybe I should have chosen a different vocation, Theodron thought. It was around the point that he found himself face to beak with a giant octopus that he questioned what life choices he had made that resulted in his current predicament. The most obvious culprit would be agreeing to investigate the disappearances the nearby town he was staying in had reported to him upon his arrival. In retrospect, the town council had failed to mention whether or not anyone else had investigated this issue before him.

He did his best to thread the needle between two nearby stalagmites in an attempt to get some cover. A giant tentacle swung above his head, leaving gross puddles of slime around him and on his hat. Taking and presumably consuming townsfolk was one thing, but damaging his hat was unforgivable. He peaked around the right stalagmite and lobbed a fireball at the beast. The octopus recoiled upon impact however, this seemed to be more out of irritation than the infliction of any significant damage. This thing’s tough, he thought, with more than a slight amount of concern creeping into his already racing mind. Back at the wizarding school where he studied, specializing in elemental magic, he failed to recall any particular lessons or tips on fighting giant octopi. Time for a different approach. He quickly stood up and thrust his right hand towards the monster. A bolt of lightning crackled from his fingertips and landed harmlessly on the octopi. I know octopi are rubbery but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t conduct electricity, does it? Again, he attributed the resistance to the size of the beast and the thickness of its skin. Suddenly, a tentacle burst through, demolishing the two stalagmites and knocking Theodron backwards. A quick flick of his wrist and the resulting gust of wind saved him from bashing his skull or breaking any bones upon an otherwise brutal impact on the ground of the cave. While the octopus’s tentacle was occupied, and more importantly, stuck to the ground, Theodron jumped onto the tentacle and began running towards the octopus.

Concentrate, concentrate, this better work, focus Theodron.

He summoned a whip of fire which he wrapped around the base of the tentacle and the fire began searing through the octopus’s skin. It recoiled in pain and clicked angrily with its beak. Two slamming tentacles would have crushed Theodron had the air shield he summoned with his other hand not stopped them. Theodron focused on the fire whip, the flow of fire coursing through the whip as his energy flowed through his body. Another two-tentacle slam came crashing down. I can’t keep these both up much longer. At that moment, a gross squelching sound echoed throughout the cave as the tentacle fell off the octopus. The base from which the tentacle used to be attached was already well cauterized but Theodron was taking no chances and, after dismissing the fire whip, a bolt of ice blasted from his hand, freezing the base. One tentacle down, seven to go. I’m definitely going to need a different strategy because I don’t have the strength or time to do that seven more times.

“What’s all this commotion then?” a voice called from the cave entrance behind Theodron.

No, anyone but him. I’d rather arm wrestle this octopus into submission than deal with this blasted necromancer. Theodron hopped off the disconnected tentacle and ran to the nearest bit of cover he could find, dodging wild tentacle swings or knocking them back with blasts of wind in the meantime.

“What are you even doing here, Faralay?” Theodron barked.

“Theodron? What a pleasant surprise. Fancy seeing you here” Faralay said as he entered the cave and joined a bit of cover near him. “What seems to be the problem?”

“Well, there is a giant octopus terrorizing the nearby town and, more pressingly, myself at the current moment”

“Well, we can’t have that, can we? How can I help?”

“Kill it if you feel so obliged and can fit it into your busy schedule”

Ever since meeting Faralay during their time at the wizarding academy, Theodron could never figure out if his cheery disposition was genuine or an elaborate ruse to win people over to achieve his own nefarious personal ambitions. Granted he didn’t exactly know what those evil goals would even be, seeing as Faralay never indicated any interest in achieving absolute power or high positions of authority. Perhaps he just had a difficult time believing that in this world of dragons, orcs, and apparently giant octopi, there could be a genuinely nice and selfless person, especially one as magically powerful as Faralay.

“My, he is a nasty beast isn’t he” Faralay said in bemusement.

“Yeah, I noticed that around the time he was trying to turn me into a human welcome mat using his massive tentacles. I’ll cast some heavy fog to buy us some time.”

The inner cave quickly filled with a thick mist of fog, leaving only an intimidating silhouette and the occasional angry beak clicks as proof that the octopus was even still there.

“Alright Theodron, what is an octopus’s natural predator?”

“Uhh…, sharks maybe? I don’t know what their natural predator is. Are you going to summon an undead shark in the middle of a cave?”

“I haven’t ruled it out as a possibility although perhaps you are right, this might not be the most conducive environment for a shark, undead or not. We will have to get creative.”

“I’m open to ideas, I don’t even know why this octopus is in the cave to begin with.”

“Given the nearby ocean and the bodies behind him, I suspect it ventured on land and, after a few successful hunts, grew accustomed to the taste of human and other non-fish meat and now makes trips here frequently when it's hungry.”

“How do you know there are bodies behind him?”

“I can sense them.”

“Weird”

“Not really, I think it is one of the many interesting and fascinating aspects of necromancy”

“If you say so”

Just then two massive tentacles shot at each of the wizards. Theodron fell back just in time, catching himself on a bed of air as he floated horizontally a few feet above the ground. Faralay was not so lucky and found himself in the death grip of the octopus.

“ARGGH!” Faralay cried, in surprise and pain.

“Hold on, I’ll get you out of there” Theodron yelled, jumping onto the tentacle holding Faralay. The tentacle slowly began to pull back toward the octopus

“Hurry!” Faralay screamed as the realization of what would happen next dawned on him.

Theodron made a cylinder of air around Faralay and pushed it outward as hard as he could but the tentacle did not budge.

“It’s not working!” Theodron gasped, straining as he poured his energy into the air cylinder. At that moment, panic set in for Theodron and he found himself on the tentacle trying to physically push the tentacle grip open.

“You…try…something!” Theodron managed as he struggled fruitlessly against this giant slab of tentacle. It was at this moment that he noticed that Faralay’s eyes were closed. “Faralay! Stay with me!” he cried.

The ground beneath the two wizards suddenly began to rumble and shake. Not but a few feet next to the tentacle a massive great white shark skeleton erupted from the ground and in one massive bite of its mighty jaw, it tore through the tentacle trapping Faralay and the tentacle fell to the ground, lifelessly. The shark finished its majestic dive by re-entered the earth from whence it came.

With the tentacle cut off, Theodron easily and quickly freed Faralay using his air cylinder.

“Thanks friend, it was a bit touch and go there for a second,” Faralay said as he stood up shakily.

Theodron slammed his hands on the ground and sent a ripple toward the octopus, turning all the ground around it into thick mud. The octopus began to sink into the mud but its quick tentacles kept it from getting fully submerged. The tentacles themselves were mostly covered by the mud but the octopus’s head and beak remained clean.

“YAH!” Theodron exlaimed as flames erupted from his hands, hardening all the mud on the octopus. The octopus clicked angrily and strained against the hardened mud.

“We have to hurry Faralay, that won’t hold him for long. Do you have any ideas? Any necromancy spells of ‘Kill Giant Octopus’ you’ve forgotten about? I’ve only got enough left in me for one more powerful spell so we’ve got to make it count.”

“I have an idea”

“Is it another sea creature skeleton? You know what actually I don’t care as long as it works you can summon a giant sea anemone for all I care just do something quick!”

As he yelled this, Faralay was already sitting cross-legged on the ground and a few human skeletons emerged and started climbing onto each other in a bizarre fashion.

I have no idea what they are doing but I trust Faralay.

Moments later a ballista of bones stood before them and another ground rumble occurred.

What is it this time?

A giant swordfish sprung from the ground and plopped onto the giant ballista.

“What now?” Theodron yelled

“Launch it with air of course!” Faralay stated as if that was obvious from the start.

The octopus lurched towards them slowly, chunks of hardened mud cracking and flying everywhere in its path as it slowly broke each remaining tentacle free.

Theodron knelt down behind the makeshift ballista, trying not to think about how disgusting it was to be this close to a mass of bones. He closed his eyes and began to feel the air flowing through him. Not the air he was breathing, the elemental air that surrounded them and was his to command.

The octopus slammed the cave ground hard, knocking a few stalactites loose. Theodron heard the familiar rumbling of necromancy summoning worryingly close to him but he didn’t have time to fret about that. He had a job to do and one chance to do it.

“Adjust left 36 degrees!” Faralay commanded the ballista as the octopus lurched into range.

Eyes still closed, Theodron did his best to quiet his senses as they were currently going berserk, the sickly smell of the octopus, the reek of death from the nearby ballista, and whatever nightmarish creation Faralay just made. Finally, he found it. His slow breaths, Faralay’s rapid breaths, the air disrupted by the wild swings of the tentacles.

“Now!” Faralay screamed

Both hands thrust powerfully in front of him, Theodron released every ounce of elemental air and energy he had left. The swordfish disappeared immediately, so fast Theodron worried that it had never really been there in the first place. A revolting fleshy sound echoed throughout the cave as the swordfish pierced the octopus right between its soulless beady eyes and embedded into the ceiling of the cave behind it. As he stood up, Theodron saw the octopus slump backward, lifeless. Faralay ran over him and crushed in him an excited hug, the stench of death forever tinged on his elegant robes.

“Nice work Theodron, jolly good show!” Faralay exclaimed in joy.

Theodron, still in a daze, returned the hug and slowly walked around, examined the aftermath. When he turned around to view where he sat behind the ballista, he spotted, to his confusion and slight dismay, an arbor of bones, two sides, and a narrow but thick roof. Walking closer, he noticed the pointed cracked rock remnants on the arbor’s ceiling and the fragments all around the perimeter of the arbor.

“You saved me…the stalactites…” Theodron said slowly, still stunned and trying to process all that had transpired.

Faralay smiled cheerfully in his typical manner.

“You seemed busy at the moment and it was the least I could do, no trouble at all friend”

“Well, I am profoundly grateful nonetheless” Theodron stated.

“I wouldn’t say no to a drink as I am profoundly thirsty,” Faralay said with a wink.

“I wager the local tavern could address that urgent matter. The first round is on me!” Theodron said brightly.